It is a question that has plagued parents for decades. When do we broach the subject of abortion with our children? What do we say and when do we say it?
Tripp and Megan Almon are considered experts in the field of educating children on this difficult subject as well as other issues. So, we tackled the subject of how to talk with your children about abortion with them. The interview aired on our half-hour weekly radio program Straight Talk on Life Issues and podcast by the same name.
Life Issues Institute believes many will benefit from the wise perspectives they offered so we encourage you to widely share this information with others.
What is the first step of introducing your children to the value of human life?
It can begin as early as the age of two or three. The first step is building a firm foundation. Teach them that they are a human being made in the image of God. When Megan asked her young daughter, “Why are you valuable?” The answer was, “Because I’m a human being made in the image of God.” This foundational realization is something parents can come back to time and again.
That is the starting point. A simple common-sense approach.
Determining when parents should bring up the a-word may be a bit more challenging, but here is simple advice that will help.
It depends. The job of parents is to hopefully stay one step ahead of the culture yet be careful not to introduce topics for which they are not ready. However, it is important to know what your children are being exposed to so you can be present to answer questions and provide guidance.
When the topic of abortion comes up, put it in simple, general words that they can understand, building on the foundation you set with them earlier.
For example, Megan referenced her work in pro-life apologetics. “Mommy helps people understand how valuable a baby is in the womb,” then she returned to the basic foundation.
Megan recalls the real-life situation of a young Corrie Ten Boom, the heroic woman who hid Jews in her home during World War II. While on a train with her father she asked a question beyond her maturity. Her father didn’t respond until they got to their destination when he asked Corrie to carry his bag for him. Her obvious reply was that the bag was too heavy for her to carry.
“The answer to your question,” said her loving father, “is just like my bag. It is too heavy for you now, so I’ll carry it for you until you are ready.”
For children who are ready for more, they recommend a response like, “Some people don’t understand how valuable the baby’s life is in the womb, so they are willing to kill a baby’s life when she is still in the womb.”
For younger children it depends upon what they have been exposed to. So, you can begin by asking them leading questions. “Why do you ask? Where did you hear the term abortion? What do you think it means?” These questions give you a better understanding of what they already know.
As your child nears middle school you may be faced with pointed questions. When your children come to you with direct questions, be as direct with your answers as possible.
Megan and Tripp have found that it can be easier to deal with abortion questions from middle schoolers than adults. When these youth are presented with a clear case for the pro-life view, they are often eager and able to connect the dots.
At what point should you discuss the realities of an actual abortion procedure? You might begin by presenting a positive case for the science behind making a choice for life. Everything that you are today was in the days-old embryo that you once were. The only things that were added were nutrition and maturation. Making an unborn baby human in the mind of a child helps to build a case for rejecting abortion.
This allows for the natural transition of making a philosophical case for life. There is no moral relevant difference between human embryos we once were and the adults we are today.
If the child states that the human embryos don’t look like us, ask the child if a person’s looks make them more valuable? We’re back to the foundation. If they say, “But the embryo doesn’t speak.” Our response can be, “Is your ability to speak what makes you valuable?” Of course not. Everything that applies to the born individual can morally and philosophically be applied to the unborn child.
Which brings us to a more detailed discussion of the actual abortion procedure. The maturity of the child determines how you proceed. If the child asks for those details, it is an indication that he/she is ready for the answers. Realize that the conversation includes graphic specifics such as extensive pain and bleeding resulting from chemical abortion pills, dismemberment and extraction of an older unborn baby, often collapsing the skull so the largest part of the baby can be pulled from the womb.
During the high school and college years, teach your children how to become pro-life and share that view with others. Challenge the kids by asking them how they would respond to a young woman in the online video clip demanding an unlimited right to govern her own body. Let them sit in the struggle and wrestle through it with their thoughts, forcing them to do the hard work now. Allow the conversation to unfold while you are available to provide guidance and ideas.
Unfortunately, many college students haven’t been challenged on abortion. They shouldn’t be hidden away but must be trained for the battlefield of ideas. Megan and Tripp don’t want their children and today’s youth to merely survive. They want them to be equipped to thrive and be agents of transformation for what is true, good, and beautiful.
Help lead them to a conclusion, not just tell them what to think.
In summary
Six Years: Build a foundation of why you are valuable. You are a valuable human being because you were made in the image of God. Questions about abortion should be answered in very general terms.
Ten Years: Build on the foundation, begin to look at science. What is a human being? How does he or she start? Where did you hear the term abortion? What do you think it means?
Twelve Years: A time when you are likely to get direct questions. If so, explain exactly what is happening with abortion. Focus on the beauty of developing human life within the womb.
Sixteen Years: Begin the transition to let them struggle with the question of abortion. Challenge their views. Mention hearing about abortion in the news and ask for their thoughts. Help them build their knowledge on science, love and God’s will for human life while you are there to help steer the process when needed.
To access the full podcast interview with Tripp and Megan Almon, as well as available resources, please scan the QR code.
Remember that your children are listening less to what you say and watching more of what you do. Be true to your beliefs and your children will be more likely to carry your legacy of morals and values into the next generation.
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