I vividly remember the moment that the nurse laid my firstborn son on my chest for the first time. Hours of waiting, the pain, the fear, the excitement all led to this. I don’t know why, but the first thing I did was count all of his fingers and toes, making sure there were ten of each. I studied his face and tried to memorize everything about him: the color of his eyes, the shape of his nose, how skinny his little heels were. I talked to him, telling him how much I loved him and saying, “I’m your mom. It’s me.”
But that wasn’t the first time I met him.
A Continued Relationship
When doctors and nurses place babies on their mother’s chest, it’s not to create a bond. They do it because a bond already exists. It’s been forming for nine months. The very first person a baby instinctively seeks after birth is their mother. They know her scent, her heartbeat, her voice.
My son and I had been building our relationship long before he was born.
I had heard his heartbeat, and he had heard mine. I had seen him on ultrasounds, moving and stretching. I had sung him the same songs every night, the ones that calmed him the most as a newborn. I had seen his smile in 3D images. I had felt his hiccups and constant little kicks.
And The Kicking Didn’t Stop
I never had to count my son’s kicks. I welcomed them, even the ones that made my ribs ache, because they were a reminder that he was there and he was okay. It’s crazy because even after birth, he was still the same little kicker. I’d be trying to dress him, and those same little legs that couldn’t slow down in the womb still wouldn’t stay still outside of it. When he slept next to me, he’d still be kicking, but now I felt those kicks from the outside instead of from the inside.
I knew those little legs before he was born. I knew him.
Pregnancy is Active Motherhood, Not a Waiting Period
The moment your baby comes into existence, you’re a mother. A relationship exists. We owe our children protection and love from their very beginning. Whether they come into existence in your body or in a petri dish, they are yours to care for. But just because it’s a responsibility doesn’t make it a burden, it’s a privilege. Children are a gift.
Accept that gift and be the best mother you can be. Your body does. Your body begins nourishing your baby immediately, providing everything they need. You are their first home. Your heartbeat soothes them, your womb keeps them safe. Your voice becomes familiar to them long before they ever see your face.
Birth is not the beginning of the relationship. It’s the continuation of a bond that was already there. It brings what was once hidden and internal into something visible and external. From womb to arms. From hearing your heartbeat on the inside to now hearing it on the outside. The same bond, just no longer hidden.
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