“The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only—and that is to support the ultimate career.” — C.S. Lewis
One of the most troubling trends I have noticed within the church is the attitude that older women often display toward younger women.
I have encountered this scenario more times than I can count: an older woman asks a younger woman who is about to graduate high school what her plans are. Most often the young woman responds, “I am not sure I want to go to college or pursue a career, because I’d really like to be a wife and a mom.” The older woman will often reply, “That’s it? Just a wife and a mom? You aren’t going to go to college and get more experience in life?”
This scenario and I am sure anyone who stumbles across this article has encountered it to some degree within evangelical spaces, is proof of how deeply the feminist movement has infiltrated the church.
Pivotal feminist leaders despised the idea of a “homemaker” and of a woman solely devoted to her family. Betty Friedan, author of The Feminine Mystique, even compared being a housewife to the experience of a Jewish person during the Holocaust:
Notice the phrase “just a housewife”. The same rhetoric that is being used by many Christian evangelicals. This is a fatal issue, and I believe it has contributed to many of the problems we face today. Feminism has told women that in order to be successful they must push off marriage and children. If the woman gets pregnant, abortion is presented as the solution. The feminist movement killed romance and love by driving a wedge between the sexes. It confused God-given roles by asking women to act like men and men to act like women.
If we truly want to save Western civilization and our Christian heritage, it starts at home–with the family unit of one man and one woman, committed for a lifetime, raising children. We must shift the narrative and encourage young women to pursue their God-given vocation. Young women who choose to embrace this calling are not “just homemakers.” They are being obedient to the call of God.
“…women who ‘adjust’ as housewives, who grow up wanting to be ‘just a housewife,’ are in as much danger as the millions who walked to their own death in the concentration camps…they are suffering a slow death of mind and spirit.”
How dare we as the church belittle this high calling? Titus 2 declares that older women are to train the younger women “to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”
It says that if we fail in this exhortation to younger women, the Word of God will be reviled. This is not something we should take lightly. So when we as Christians belittle women who desire to be wives and mothers, I believe we are literally mocking God’s design for women.
Even further, the idea that they are “just” wives and moms, as if they sit at home twiddling their thumbs doing nothing all day is extremely misguided. They are nurturers, encouragers, lovers, mentors, motivators, guardians, teachers, cheerleaders, life-givers, homemakers, listeners, and the heart of the home. They are shaping the next generation. Their obedience to the Lord is vital to the future of our civilization.
No amount of Fox News interviews, books I write, or stages I speak on will ever amount to the influence of being a wife and mother. Being a wife and mother is what I aspire to be above all else.
My prayer is that one day I can be even a fraction of the wife and mother my mom is. She is the picture of a Proverbs 31 woman. She is meek and humble, yet resilient and prepared for any challenges that may strike our family. This was especially evident when she practically lived in the hospital for eight months with my seven-year-old sister, who was paralyzed in a freak swimming accident. From the time she wakes up until the time she goes to bed, she pours all of her energy into her household and faithfully serves as my dad’s helpmate. Not only does she serve her family well, but she does it joyfully. She is patient and quick to listen, even when my siblings (more specifically me) overwhelm her with a million ideas or philosophies. She stewards the body God gave her well. This brief summary of my mom’s character doesn’t even do her justice, but I am so grateful for her and her obedience to the Lord.
As young single women who aspire to be homemakers, now is the time to cultivate the virtues, character traits, and skills necessary for a fruitful household. Seek godly counsel. Surround yourself with older, wiser women who can pour into you. Be around children often and perhaps offer to help a young mom in the community a few hours a week. Learn to cook and run a productive household. These things can be practiced with your immediate family while living at home before marriage. Above all, seek the Lord and study the women of the Bible.
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