Abortion is an egregious injustice against the unborn. This is the chief reason to be pro-life.
Because children need fathers.
I planned for both of my children. I was happily married for a few years, my husband and I were excited to grow our family, yet even then, when I saw that faint second line on the pregnancy test, I felt this small stab of fear in me. That fear quickly dissolved with a simple bear hug and the smile on my husband’s face. He wasn’t scared (or if he was, he was hiding it). I knew that it was going to be okay and that whatever comes next, I’m not alone.
There are women every day who have to see that faint second line on a pregnancy test all alone. They have to handle the waves of emotions without any support or help. They are stuck there all alone, trapped in their own minds. They can’t imagine their future in a positive way, if at all. What impact would it have made if creating that baby was intentional, if they weren’t doing it alone, if they were in a happy marriage? I believe it would make all the difference. It’s an entirely different world.
Fathers shape whether the child lives or dies
Throughout my pregnancy, my husband was by my side. He went to every appointment with me, shared in the exciting moments of seeing our child for the first time, learning that he was a little boy, stressing over his health during the anatomy scan, and was my absolute rock the day that my child was born.
But what about the other women? Maybe she told the father and he was upset because a baby was never part of the plan. Maybe she called him and never heard back. Some women are broken up with, or told plainly that he can’t afford a baby right now.
Care Net did two surveys, one of post abortive women and one of men whose partners had abortions, and they found that no one shaped the abortion decision more than the father of the baby. Oftentimes, they feel like abortion is their only option. They have no support, no money, and can’t picture a future that involves them caring for a baby all by themselves.
Fathers shape the health of the child
Worse, some are afraid of him, and for her, a baby could put her own life in danger.
In my first trimester, I had pretty severe nausea (very common). I had the hardest time taking prenatals and went through a phase where I was trying all different kinds, just attempting to find a brand that I could swallow and keep down. My husband took charge doing the research and stopping at vitamin stores, trying to help me through it. He wanted to help me find the healthiest and safest vitamins for our baby that I could handle.
Martin et al. used national data on 5,404 women. Women whose partners were involved in the pregnancy were 1.5 times more likely to get first trimester prenatal care. Researchers at USF studied births in Florida and found that newborns without an involved father died at nearly four times the rate of babies with involved fathers. The authors estimated that 65 to 75% of the excess deaths could be prevented if the fathers had been involved.
Fathers shape the life the child goes on to live
Today my husband is a father of two. Want to know how he spent his day off? Teaching my five year old soccer so he’s ready for his first game ever. I have been blessed with the best husband, and they the best dad. Many people can love a child but no person can replace a child’s mother and father.
Research shows that children with a present father are less likely to grow up in poverty, struggle with behavioral and emotional problems, drop out of high school, become pregnant as teenagers, or end up incarcerated. Dads matter.
Dads are irreplaceable
Your dad isn’t just a random guy filling in a role, he’s your dad. He is the reason you exist and the most invested in your safety and future. He’s the only man directly tied to your mother. Dads offer children something distinct from mothers, something equally important – the complimentary way they parent differently. Dads let their kids fail and figure it out, because the lesson sticks better that way. With newborns, dads talk the same way he talks to anyone else, and it helps babies grow into those words. When he gives a direction, he isn’t asking. If his kids push back, he says “Do it now,” and that’s the end of it. Dad’s play is louder and more competitive, and it’s usually the reason someone climbs higher than they’d climb on their own. Men and women each give children something the other can’t, and marriage is the only place a child is promised both. Boys with a dad at home are less aggressive, have fewer encounters with police, and treat women more gently. So much of what people call “toxic” masculinity comes from boys growing up without their dad.
Reaching Fathers
That’s why the pro-life movement must reach out to fathers.
Luckily, many pregnancy centers are already on top of this. Many of them offer mentoring from an experienced dad to a new one. Often they offer free classes for dads: courses on how to help your partner during pregnancy, how to care for newborns, toddler health and safety, relationship skills, and more. They incentivize participation with free baby supplies like wipes, diapers, and baby clothes. They will help them by offering local financial support or helping them find jobs. Pregnancy centers encourage fathers to be involved during pregnancy and invite them to the ultrasounds (with permission of the mother). They even offer care for men after abortion.
There is always room for more and I’m excited to see these programs grow and more dads get support. That’s where you come in. When you support pregnancy centers, you help train mentors for new dads and stock the shelves with the diapers and wipes those dads earn by showing up to class.
Think back to that woman seeing the faint second line on the pregnancy test, all alone. Now imagine the father of her baby walks into a pregnancy center and sits down with a dad who has been there. He shows up to the ultrasound, and he tells her they are going to figure this out together. She isn’t alone anymore, and that baby has a real chance at life with a dad who is there for it.
This is what fathers deserve. It’s what mothers deserve. And certainly, it’s what children deserve.
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