After my son and his wife suffered an early miscarriage of twins, a well-meaning friend said, “That’s okay. She’s young and can have more.” It was as if the lives of my grandsons didn’t matter.
Many parents suffer in silence. Even more lack support from friends and family.
But miscarriage is the same as a death of a born child. Parents who have dealt with miscarriage need our prayers, comfort and understanding.
Miscarriage, also called early pregnancy loss, is unfortunately an all-too common occurrence. According to Care Net, it happens when a pregnancy ends on its own during the first 20 weeks. It is estimated that miscarriage affects up to 15 percent of all pregnancies.
No one is absolutely sure why miscarriage takes place, but doctors think a major reason is due to a glitch in the unborn baby’s genes that causes chromosomes to misalign.
Though early pregnancy loss can be a terrible and painful experience for mothers and fathers, God uses these desperate circumstances to further the sanctity of life. Just consider what He’s done in the life of Susanne Maynes, a writer, songwriter and pro-life counselor who recently wrote of her experiences with miscarriage.
When she received the call from her midwife about the death of her unborn child at 20 weeks, she “sat in stunned silence” thinking that it “must be a bad dream.” Just three weeks prior Susanne and her husband sat in a doctor’s office as they listened to their baby’s heartbeat.
Since Susanne’s body wasn’t expelling the unborn baby on its own, she had to endure dilation and curettage surgery. After that ordeal, weeks of serious grieving began.
She felt like she was stuck “in a time warp.” “Every little responsibility looks like huge mountain to climb,” Susanne wrote. Though it was a difficult trial in her life, she wasn’t alone. God was there for her in her time of great suffering and walked beside her to provide comfort.
She understood that God can use pain to shape our character and helps us through the difficult times that inevitably come in life.
God’s love and guidance prepared Susanne for ten years in counseling and ministering to women at pregnancy centers. As Counseling Director at Life Choices Clinic in Lewiston Idaho, she helped mothers who were affected by their miscarriages, abortion or unplanned pregnancies.
Please visit Susanne Maynes’ personal website, where she offers online parenting courses, free books and other important resources.
God is using many organizations to help mothers in need. There are over 2,600 pregnancy centers throughout the U.S. that help women deal with the effects of abortion and miscarriage.
There are also smaller organizations such as the Early Pregnancy Loss Association (EPLA) based in southern Michigan that provide education and support to grieving parents, family and friends in local communities. EPLA educates mothers on miscarriage, gives guidance on how mothers should care for themselves physically and emotionally and dispels common myths about miscarriage. The group’s goals are to foster community support for grieving families and even help pay outstanding medical bills.
In the wake of a miscarriage don’t stay silent. Tell the mother and father affected by miscarriage that you loved the baby too, or say you’re praying for them. Months afterward remind them you’re still praying, and make sure you are. Love is the best antidote to grief.
For suffering moms and dads,