Abortion Hurts Dads Too

Bradley Mattes   |   June 13, 2018

The following words are often used to describe a man who was involved in the decision to abort his unborn baby: Coward. Failure. Weak. There are others.

These aren’t words used by pro-lifers or others in society. They reflect how fathers of aborted children often describe themselves.

Their internal pain is a serious problem, but the good news is we offer hope and healing to men who’ve lost a child to abortion.

Father’s Day is Sunday, and I always look forward to it. One of our four sons will barbecue a traditional meal of thick pork chops wrapped in bacon. I know you want one! Father’s Day is meaningful to me because I wanted to be a dad more than anything else. Perhaps that’s why God has placed the grief of fathers of aborted babies heavily upon my heart.

Sadly, there are many men who dread Sunday because it’s nothing more than a painful reminder of the child or children lost to abortion.

Craig came to me for mentor counseling because of a past abortion. As a young man he had lived on the wild side and enjoyed every minute. When his girlfriend became pregnant and expressed a desire to have their baby, Craig became enraged. He didn’t want a child interfering with what he believed were his best years of sexual carousing without responsibility.

Years later he saw life from an entirely different perspective and became overwhelmed with remorse, grief and shame. In his words, he “badgered,” “belittled” and “bullied” the girl into an abortion. Craig felt that his selfishness and ego imprisoned him and his former girlfriend into a lifetime of regret and depression. The excruciating memory of what he inflicted upon her was equal to the pain he felt over the death of his unborn child.

The very idea of someday meeting his daughter in heaven made him sick to his stomach. Craig was certain she would be filled with righteous anger toward him. Until Craig experienced emotional healing from the abortion, the weeks leading up to Father’s Day were heavy with anxiety and self-hatred.

There have been over 60 million abortions in America, which means grieving fathers are everywhere. We share the same planes, the same golf courses, the same grocery stores and yes, even the same church pews.

Together, you and I can ensure that fewer fathers will approach Father’s Day with dread because of the hope offered to all who grieve. The Men and Abortion Network (MAN) was created to generate awareness and provide help for dads. Resources in the form of healing courses, videos, research and educational materials have been developed and are available at a website exclusively designed for hurting fathers and those who want to help them.

If you or someone you know fits this description, hope and healing is only a click away. Through the website we can refer men to a free mentor counselor wherever he lives. He can throw off the heavy chains of a past abortion.

Craig traveled a difficult journey in pursuit of peace, and by God’s grace he found it. Gone is the self-loathing. He now sees himself as a forgiven and redeemed child of Christ. Help us connect more fathers with the help they desperately need.

When you reach a father, you help a family.

For hurting dads,

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4 thoughts on “Abortion Hurts Dads Too

  1. Most women who have an abortion are forced to in some way. My sister was told the baby or the man she was living with. She had an abortion and became an alcoholic and died very unhappy not trusting that God would forgive her. She needs prayers not condemnation

  2. Hi Bradley. Thank you for addressing this issue. I’m a post abortive women who was pressured into two abortions by my ex-fiancé and now husband. I have struggled with guilt and depression ever since until I received healing 7 years ago. Now I lead a women’s ministry in our church for post abortive women. But there is a huge portion of men that struggle with this too. I’m looking for resources, training etc. for a men’s post abortive ministry. We have a male leader in our church that is willing to lead this. I’ll check out your website. If you have specific guidelines on how to start a men’s ministry in our church, I’d love to review it and pass it along. Thank you!!

  3. A woman should never be pushed into having an abortion. Unfortunately, it often happens. According to Dan Steiner, president of Pre-Born! ministry, about 90% of the time, a young mother doesn’t want an abortion. Statistically, 48% of the time she is pressured into aborting by her mother and another 42% of the time she is pressured to abort by her husband or boyfriend.
    However, it’s the law that it’s up to the woman. For any young woman who is feeling pressured, you have the final say.

  4. I think that so-named “Planned Parenthood’ should properly be termed: PLANNED UN-PARENTHOOD.

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