The Grief of Miscarriage

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The Grief of Miscarriage

Bradley Mattes   |   March 18, 2015

When my wife and I were mourning the deaths of twin grandkids by miscarriage, a friend said, “She’s young, she can have more.”  The unintended message was, the lives of your twins don’t matter.  Here’s a few things you should try not to say when a baby dies in the womb: At least you can get pregnant.  You’ve already got a child.  It’s just a miscarriage.  At least you miscarried early in pregnancy.  Or: You’ll forget about it over time.  A dead child or grandchild is never forgotten.  Still, in the wake of a miscarriage don’t stay silent.  Tell them you loved the baby too, or say you’re praying for them.  And don’t forget the dads.  Months afterward remind them you’re still praying, and make sure you are.  Miscarriage is the same as a death of a born child.

 

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